I'm Back!

I deleted this blog out of frustration and anger.  Well, I'm back, things were looking bleak at the time and I just felt like too many people and things were requiring my full attention.  I'm still an incomplete Catholic!
My annulment has moved on, I was shocked that my ex actually answered the questionnaire that he was sent by the Dubuque Tribunal.  I thought for sure he would toss it as soon as he found out it was to annul our marriage. I was wrong.  I just want this to be over, rehashing of my marriage was the most exhausting thing I have ever done, not to mention the physical side of it, beside the huge headache, I feel like I've been beat up.  I just want to get this behind me asap!  I need to move on and put the past where it should be. I have better things to do than stew about things I can't do anything about.

My Annulment

In order to get an annulment in the Catholic church you have to have 3 witnesses....I am having problems with the third witness no one can get a hold of him!  I emailed Sr. Annette and she was going to call Sr. Maureen in Dubuque and see what she recommended.  I find it weird you have to have 3 witness when you only need two to get married!!! My hubby brought this up the other night.  I told Sr. Annette that I might have to just drop it and not proceed with it.  All I really wanted was to be able to take communion and I can do that (Praise the Lord!). My other goal was to get confirmed but the way  Sr. Annette talked I would have to wait until the annulment was finished.  I really don't see why I have to wait for that to be over, it may not even happen and if it does it will take at least 9 - 12 months to complete! Sometimes I think the Catholic church needs to review their laws somethings just don't make sense!  So I am at the point of just giving up on the whole thing.....I guess I will be an (in)complete Catholic for the rest of my life. Not happy.

Church Hopping

My good friend and I have been going to mass at the different Catholic churches in our area....I have to say I LOVE doing this!  We did notice that each church has their very own differences, some we liked, some not so much.  My friend would love to go to a mass where they don't sing, I have to agree with her I would like that as well.  The songs are so old and tired they need to be retired!!!

Why can't they play/sing contemporary christian music?  If they did that I'm sure more people would participate, maybe not so much in an older parish since the more mature attendees probably wouldn't like it.  I have to be honest, they have changed the mass so much from what it was like when I was a kid I figure that one more change couldn't hurt!

Last week I went to mass on Sunday and they had a wonderful men's group that had two guitar players and the music was upbeat and they sounded wonderful!  I would go to mass every Sunday just to hear them sing!!!  No really sure how to approach Father about this he seems like a bit of a stick in the mud!

Honestly, I probably wouldn't say a word to him....but we have a nun that is his pastoral assistant who might be able to put a bug in his ear...

Annulment Process Has Started

After 13 years of divorce I finally decided to have my first marriage annulled.  Just doing the paperwork that is required put me in a bad place in my head.  I don't know why I am feeling so horrible about this.  I guess dredging up memories that I worked so hard to forget makes me ill.  I'm sure that is why I feel so bad about things.  I really wish I would have started this process right after I divorced him.  I think it would have been better at least for me to get it over and done with while feelings were so raw and up front.  Now it just seems like rehashing old garbage, and I'm not a fan!  Hopefully this too shall pass.  The only thing that would hold me back from this annulment would be having three witness, I have one and a potential second but I'm having a hard time with number three...nobody I know who knew us both back then is #1 dead and #2 have moved and I have not talk to them in 36 years I don't even know how to find them.  So I'm uneasy about this whole thing.  I guess if it doesn't happen, that is OK at least I can receive communion and that is the one thing that I really wanted next to getting confirmed.  We shall see how this all pans out.  I will have to step up my praying on this matter.

Anima Christi

This is a beautiful prayer....usually said after receiving communion.

Soul of Christ, sanctify me
Body of Christ, save me
Blood of Christ, inebriate me
Water from Christ's side, wash me
Passion of Christ, strengthen me
O good Jesus, hear me
Within Thy wounds hide me
Suffer me not to be separated from Thee
From the malicious enemy defend me
In the hour of my death call me
And bid me come unto Thee
That I may praise Thee with Thy saints
and with Thy angels
Forever and ever
Amen

Good News!

I just found out that I can get confirmed!!!  I do not have to go through RCIA to get it done!  It's a month of instruction then you are eligible to get confirmed.

I was not confirmed as child because of our parish priest.  He was not a kind person.  My dad had gone to sign us up for the classes and the priest told him that we would have to wait until the following year because the class was full.  Then we find out that our neighbor went down to sign her kids up for class after my dad had been there and her kids got in!!!  The reason we didn't get in  is because the priest had a beef with my dad.  My mother raised a ton of money for the church before our old priest left.  The new priest could not understand why my mother was unable to do that for him......if he even had a heart this would have not been an issue.  My mother was terminally ill she actually died a month and half after the arrival of this new priest.  He also was at my sister's friends house for dinner and she overheard the disparaging things he was saying about my mother.  Needless to say when my sister told my dad what had been said he went straight to the rectory and blasted the priest!!!  Therefore you see the reason the priest decided to be a complete ass and not let us in the confirmation classes!!  Needless to say my dad said the hell with it and quit going to Mass altogether! So long story short I finally get to complete the sacrament of confirmation after waiting 40+ years!

I have to say that this is the biggest deal to me!!!  Over the years I've drifted in and out of the Catholic religion.  The funny part is I keep coming back!  I am the only one out of us three kids that is still a practicing Catholic.  I think my mother would be very proud of me, for returning to the religion that she she so loved.  I agree with her 100% if there was one thing in my life that was always there for me it would have to be the Catholic Church!   I am proud to be a Catholic!!!! <(((><

I Finally Joined A Church!

This past Thursday I had a meeting with Sr. Annette to get registered as a parish member!  I am so excited!  I really like this church the people seem so nice!  I feel very comfortable with everything.  One thing I was a little nervous about was confession....the last I had heard was it was a face to face thing.  I grew up with the "closet" confessional where you couldn't see anyone....I did find out that there is still a "screen" between you and the priest which does make me feel better.

I am going to another Catholic church tomorrow night for Mass my friend want's me to experience "other churches"  I think it's a great idea to get another  perspective on the Mass.  But....I will be attending my own church on Sunday morning!