My Mother, My Hero

My brother asked me a question the other night when I went over to help him fill out his questionnaire for my annulment......it made me think.  He asked why I was doing this annulment was it just so I could get confirmed?

To tell the complete story I have to start at the beginning......

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1963 and it was advanced at that point, I was only 5 years old.  My dad sat me down and told me that she had cancer and was going to die and that I needed to be strong and help out with my brother and sister from then on.  I doubt I really knew what he was talking about but I sure do remember the talk we had!  My Mom was a convert to the Catholic faith my father and myself were cradle Catholics, my brother and sister had not been baptisted till they were a bit older.  We went to Catholic school where my mother was the vice president of the school board. She was very highly involved in everything Catholic we used to call her "Super Catholic"!

My mother had to go through her own annulment, and studied for years with our priest to become Catholic. She was the strongest person I know.  She was dying....and it took her 8 years to finally receive all of her sacraments and finally be married in the Church. This woman was raising 3 kids, cooking dinner, running errands, keeping house, doing laundry, never missed any of my brother's baseball games because she was the scorekeeper,  worked full time, was the vice president of the school board, president of the Alter and Rosary Society, regular volunteer for whatever was going on at school or church.  She NEVER complained about how sick she was even though we would go out to eat and she would go to the bathroom and vomit her entire dinner all without complaining.

I remember coming out of church every Sunday and she was always asked how she was doing.....her stock answer was "I'm fine I have 3 kids to raise!". She didn't dwell in the past or feel sorry for herself.  For all that woman endured, from surgery to surgery and chemo session to chemo session NOTHING stopped her!   She was an amazing person, to be able to do all these things without complaining, without making excuses, she NEVER felt sorry for herself. She just moved forward never looking back at the past, there was nothing she could do about what HAD happened all she could was deal with it and put it where it belonged and didn't make others miserable by letting the past ruin her future.

Everyday she lived was a blessing to her, don't get me wrong she was not a saint, she was a sinner like all of us are, but she got it.....she knew what she had to do, live everyday like it was her last which ironically each day that passed could have been her last. She finally died at 11:00 am on Thursday November 30, 1972.  Finally she made it home.

For as much as we all missed her, I have come to the realization that she is the person I most admire and need to emulate.  My (and my siblings) childhood was not a good one by any means but she taught us that you can overcome anything without complaining without feeling sorry for yourself. She taught us to live each day to our best, deal with problems the best we can and not carry them around for years and make others miserable in the process. She went through things with grace and dignity all her life, what a great example she was!  I just wish our children could have known her.....my brother said something that I thought was genius...he said...she taught us to go on even if things are bad at the time they will get better, she taught us that life is short, don't live in the past, live for now.She taught us to live our faith because she loved the Catholic Church, she loved God and she loved her kids. Because she knew she wouldn't be around to give us advice as we grew up, she gave us the most precious gift of all the thing we could fall back on, the thing she knew we needed the most.....our spiritual foundation the same "thing" that kept her going.

This is why I'm going through with the annulment and I NEED to be confirmed.  If my Mom can do all those things while she was in the process of dying, without complaining then I should be able to do the same, especially since I have out lived her (she was only 47 when she died I am healthy and 55!).  I can proudly say my Mom is my hero!

So my goal from now on is to be like her, quit complaining about the hoops I have to jump through to get this annulment, I have it easy, I need to shut my mouth period!  I honor my Mother by being the best Catholic I can be. I know every Saturday as I attend Mass, I know she is proud of me for being there.  She so loved her religion and it was so important to her, I now realize the same and  it is just as important to me.  I know she is there with me, sitting in the pew next to me, that is a comfort for me. I have to thank her for giving me (us) a great spiritual foundation to draw from.  I love you Mom.....